men took my little pony away from us girls so us teen girls are takin pro wrestling fuck yall just try n stop us
have fun fetishizing the shit out of *real life* celebrities. it actually makes the people who sexualize the shit out of children’s cartoons seem normal.
did you just imply being attracted to actual real human males isn’t normal but wanting to fuck cartoon horses is
I need to reblog this again because it still makes me laugh
Was going to text a friend when suddenly… kestrel!
(In her defense, this is the glove I wear to feed her. I put it on then got distracted. lol)
She looks so perplexed.
human hUMAN HUMAN IS THIS MY DINNER
HUMAN I DO NOT THINK MY FOOD SHOULD BE GLOWING
I AM NOT AMUSED WHERE IS MY NOT-GLOWING FOOD
Chemicals of the Human Brain
Um… awkward… I’m totally sure I called shot gun, why are you shoving me in the back? Yeah I realize I’m being arrested but the rules of shotgun are pretty clear man
College be like
Meal plan: $1,457
The sun: $3,381
FASFA BE LIKE : $14.78
NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
NO “MATTER”. EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like something really important just happened
Rebbloging this again.
he’s an inspiration
so apparently people talk to their pets in baby voices, but when i see my cat i’m just like ‘hey brad’ and he’s like ‘meow’ and the conversation is over.
I don’t know why but for some reason the fact that your cat’s name is brad is hilarious to me
Can you imagine the conversation though?
Queen: I’m going
Chief of Staff: But, Your Majesty, the security risks…
Queen: I’m going I want cake
Chief of Staff:
Chief of Staff:
Queen: I want cake
my mom always throws old clothes that she has nothing to do with in my closet, and whenever i call her out on it, she says “i have never done that, all of the clothes in your closet are yours”
are you sure mom
are you sure these are my clothes
do not pity the dead, pity the living. and above all, pity good actors on bad tv shows.
I want to be one of those people who does yoga and eats berries for breakfast, but I’m one of those people who stays in bed until 4 pm and eats pizza.